Am I on candid camera??

So while doing my shopping lately, I, like pretty much all women, headed along to the Femine Hygiene section. This is a section you generally wanna get in and out of as fast as possible. Ok it's not like it used to be when you were a teen and it was like a crack commando operation to buy necessities, hiding them amongst piles of magazines you didn't need, just to detract attention or on those very self concious days i.e my entire teenage years which I spent permanantly blushing for no reason, when I would just send my Mam to buy them. Call it scars from those awkward years but it's definitely an aisle I like to waste no time in, I don't like to spend ten minutes checking out the new "flexi maxi slimline gold covered now with actual peacock wings" items! I know what I want, I locate, I grab, I leave! So imagine my panic when a few weeks ago some old dear thought this would be the best place to strike up a conversation with me. I had no idea who the woman was, and maybe it was my own fault for dawdling and getting sucked in by the brand new colourful packaging promising me I could jump off mountains, swim with whales even run naked through my work should I get the urge and let's face it who hasn't got the urge to do so! But while I was hypnotised by promises of a more exciting visit from Aunty Flow- seriously it must be men who design these campaigns- in swooped my new bestie. "Oh they're cheaper in lidl" she said, lulling me into a false sense of security. "Oh really," I answered, to be polite "and here this place is claiming they've got the lowest prices". BIG MISTAKE, I should of known when to stop, I should of said "Oh Really" and ran from there, but she had me now. Noticing the product I had in my hand she said, "How do you find them"... "Emmm excuse me"? ... "I 've heard they're good and then there are these things"...she was now giving me a running commentary on all the products... "they're great for women my age, ya know, for when I sneeze or something"...!! Eewwwwwww I almost fainted, was this woman really giving me all this information and just in case I didn't get what she was talking about she insisted on pointing to her bajingo while telling me these disturbing details. To make matters worse I then noticed a man who was obviously with her peering on from the next aisle, what the hell?? Was he taking minutes??? It was all a bit too much to be honest, so I quickly grabbed my phone and pretended I had a call, I didn't care that it didn't ring, this lady was crazy, for fear of her giving me a demonstration I ran from there. Memories of sitting on a bus to Ballincollig when I was about 16 flooded back into my head when surprise surprise, another crazy lady started chatting to me and then in the middle of a nice chat about school she randomly asks me "what kind of contraception do you use"? at the top of her voice, the whole bus burst out laughing including a group of older lads from my school and I got so dizzy and disorientated from the mortification of the situation I got off the bus about 2 miles from my stop. WHAT THE HELL??? Am I sending out some sort of signals, "crazy old ladies of this world, feel free to talk to me about very inappropriate things, in your loudest voice possible". Oyyy NOOOOOOOO... not cool! So now I'm back to my quick draw days, in and out and avoiding any eye contact with sweet little old ladies, I know your game Mrs!!