Here's to the crazy ones...

The fact that it is an advert for Apple kind of ruins this, but if you leave that part out it's actually a really inspiring piece, so if you're feeling the pressure of the daily grind and need a bit of motivation, check this out:



and someone who should of also been included:

Swimming lesson- Part ll

So last night I had my 2nd swimming lesson and lets just say it didn't go quite as smoothly as the first. Leaving a wk in between lessons is prob not the best idea anyway but hey, thems the breaks. I thought I may have forgotten everything I learned the previous week but once again kitted out in my ultra flattering (!?!?!) swimming gear, (I replaced the black swimming cap which made my Roy Orbison look complete to a nice pink one... i now look like Moby), I took the plunge. The first problem last night was that Aqua Aerobics had taken over "my" lane (and lets just state they could of used the bigger lane, what? the moves were big!)so I was stuck in the main area of the pool with what looked like, people training for flippin Olympic Gold. But I reckon they, at seeing the learner, (ya can't miss me, I'll be the one with the illuminious yellow tube around me) struggling to even keep my head above water, got some kick out of gliding past me at speed- f*****s!! As we all learned from last week I already have a problem with my direction, and having someone flying past you and creating serious waves doesn't help, so once again last night I spent most of the time banging into the wall. And when learning the breast stroke and having to move my legs like a frog, having a wall in the way proves pretty painful. But I'm going way ahead. First off we practised my breathing under water, this is bloody hard. I ended up swallowing so much water I honestly thought I was gonna start sinking. When I thought I had this down, Lisa (my instructor) introduced some arm movements (she may be trying to kill me!). Now I'm a woman so multi-tasking is second nature to me but this was taking the p**s. Kick my legs, exhale into the water and move my right arm up and around, while holding onto the board with my left hand. Works in theory. In reality, I kicked my legs and took off, exhaled into the water, moved my arm in the swimming motion but everytime I moved my arm my legs automatically stopped working, I started panicking, swallowed a load of water and crashed into the wall!!

Also at this point I had just noticed a steam room full of people right in front of me which I had failed to notice before, no doubt having a great laugh at my expense and taking bets on whether I would actually come out of this lesson alive. Eventually I did find some sort of co-ordination (divine guidance) and either stopped swallowing water or had swallowed so much clorine it had cut off my sense of taste completely- (note to self, check can Chlorine kill)

At this point we moved on to the breast stroke , which I managed to master quite quickly even ditching the hand board and working both arms and legs (ok so I had the yellow tube around me). Once again my instructor was full of praise, which at this point I'm starting to think may be a confidence building ploy as opposed to actual truth- and now that I think about it that steam room was awfully full by the end of my lesson- word must have gotten out- "roll up, roll up, watch the freak in the water, crash, flail and ingest her weight in water".


If I see someone selling popcorn next week I'm quitting!!

BRING ON THE TRUMPETS...

... JUST WATCH, THIS IS THE FUNNIEST AD ON TV AT THE MO!!



...TOO TOO FUNNY!!

Lil Fish, Lil fish swimming in the water...

Well helloooo... So this week I finally took the plunge, literally. I am finally facing my fears and learning to swim, I know I know I should know how to swim since I was a kid but alas, we cannot all be perfect and lets face it if we all led a life without fears it would be a very boring life indeed because facing up to fears is the best fun (in a weird masochistic way)!! So off I trotted to the pool kitted out in my nice new togs (all in one- this isn't a fashion parade people), very unflattering swimming cap (ok it isn't a fashion parade but rubber caps just are not forgiving) and goggles (which look uncannily like NHS glasses- they were the only pair I could afford), feeling very confident and determined and looking strangley like Roy Orbison I entered the zone (the pool area) and all it took to knock any bit of confidence out of me was the smell of Chlorine, flippin heck, suddenly I felt 5 again only this time wihout the security of the arm bands, rubber ring, my brother to hang on to (hey if I was going under, he was coming too) and the baby pool where I could safely retreat to should it all get too much for me (or should I need a sneaky pee- what!??! they were all doin it!) I hadn't even put a toe in the water and already I wanted to run away, but this had to be done, I've wanted to learn for so long I just had to bite the bullet, hold my breath and pray I didn't drown. So after much coaxing and reassurance that I would be able to stand, from my lovely instructor-Lisa- in I got, I should point out here that Lisa obviously hadn't realised how small I was (I'm actually of average height, she's just taller than most) and not wanting to disappoint the minute I got in the pool and make a complete show of myself I decided to trust her and keep reaching for the ground beneath me , so there was slight panic in her face when it looked like I was actually going to be submerged before I hit the bottom of the pool with my feet, "just stand on your tip-toes" she quickly ordered. "Phew" I thought. She quickly kitted me out with 2 hand held floaty board things and wrapped some sort of styrofoam tube around my waist and I did not ask questions, all I knew were these things were gonna keep me alive... and then... With more frantic kicking than a Jackie Chan movie and less direction than- well lets face it- a Jackie Chan movie- I was off! Crashing into walls, crossing into lanes and splashing everyone else like it was going out of fashion, but I did not care, because I was swimming and I had the time of my life. By the end of the lesson (most beginners do 30 mins I did the full 45- "don't act like you're not impressed") I had ditched the styrofoam tube thing and only needed the aid of 1 floaty board (techinical terms). And after much praise from my instructor ("one of the strongest beginners"were the exact words), I was done with my very first swimming lesson and off I limped (who knew it was so tiring on your legs), dreams of olympic gold and diving boards (like in the pension ad-scares the bejeezus out of me) swirling around in my head... Bring it on... I think!!!

BREAKING NEWS...!!

Kathreya (BB9) is Siouxsie Sioux is disguise, trying to make a comeback with "Happy House"...

A lil rant!

I'm not one for coming on here complaining usually but I really have something I gotta get off my chest... and seen as Vic's away for 2 weeks I have to vent here!! I love going to the flicks, I try to go at least once every 2 weeks, like everyone else I buy my ticket, I get in early to get a good seat so I can enjoy the movie to it's fullest capacity... but why is it I always end up sitting in front of some ignorant f****r who thinks its ok to put their goddam feet on the back of my chair and keep kicking it for the entire movie, f*** right off. I don't put my feet on the back of peoples seats why the hell should they??? I pay the exact same money, I'm entitled to the exact same comfort for the entirity of the movie. I have on many occasion turned and asked people to take their feet down and to stop kicking my chair, and the looks I get, as if I'm the person the wrong... what the hell people, were ye dragged up??? Were you never taught it's rude to put your feet on the furniture??? I swear I'm finding it hard to keep the cool and ask people nicely to take their feet down, it's just common courtesy really. So if u are an offender, next time your at the cinema spare a thought for the person in front of you, would u like someone kicking your chair the whole way through a movie??? Thought not! If ya wanna put ur feet up, wait for the DVD and watch it at home, failing that, learn some manners... because this really makes me angry and believe me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...grrrrrrrr!!